What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 02.07.2025 01:46
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Make Nazis afraid again!
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Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Is it bad to sleep with music in your ears?
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
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Why am I so tired of seeing homeless people all over the place?
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …